Dear Abby: My brother-in-law and his fiancée, “Shana,” have been dating for five years. They have a handsome son and their wedding date is fixed. I’ve been with my husband for four years, and I’ve been married for almost a year. We didn’t have a lavish wedding celebration, just a simple city-hall ceremony followed by dinner with immediate family. However, the opposite is happening to Shana.
She has invited my husband to be a part of the wedding, but not me. I am very disappointed because I thought we got along very well and I thought of us as friends. Shouldn’t brother and sister-in-law walk down the aisle together at a wedding ceremony? That’s how I’ve seen other couples do it. My husband also finds it strange that Shana didn’t ask me to be a part of the wedding. After all, I’ve been a part of the family for a long time. What do you think? – Overthinking in New York
Dear overthinker: Your husband will walk his brother down the aisle as he’s part of the wedding party. No rule of etiquette dictates that because you are the sister-in-law, you must be a part of the ceremony. If your wedding was a simple one for financial reasons, you can always renew your vows in a grand way. Please don’t blame your future sister-in-law for not being your bridesmaid. Ask her if there’s a task you can do – a reading, perhaps – to get involved and be useful.
Dear Abby: I work in retail merchandising with my husband. A woman on our team is a few years younger than me and very touchy with my husband. She whispers in his ear and stands very close to him. My husband says that maybe she is like that. I told her that she is wrong because she doesn’t do this when her boyfriend is around and she doesn’t do this with anyone else. How should I handle this? Troubled in Florida
Dear Upset: Tell your teammate that from where you’re standing, it looks like she’s hitting your husband, and you don’t like that. Then, tell her that if she doesn’t stop, you will report her to the team leader or your boss.
Dear Abby: My daughter made a vow not to have children until her partner proposed and they were married. Now, after turning 30, he worries that his biological clock is ticking. Her partner says she’s ready to have kids, but hasn’t popped the question yet, although they do talk about marriage. It’s been 10 years. What should the girl do? — Dazed Mama in Ohio
Dear Buffled Mama: As you and your daughter should have realized, marriage talks can go on for decades and beyond. If his partner wants to get married, they both will. In this case, a 30-year-old “girl” who wants to become a mother after marriage should ask herself a question. And if her answer is no, she should move on to find a willing husband.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. contact dear abby www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.