Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married for over 30 years. In the past five, I’ve had so many doctor appointments, medical procedures, and surgeries that I’ve lost count. My husband thinks it’s perfectly fine to tell family, friends, and strangers about my medical conditions, tests, and surgeries.
I asked a friend if she would pray for an upcoming exam. She said she would, and would continue to pray until I told her otherwise. I had the test; The results were great. My husband told my friend the result without first asking me if it was okay. I realized this when she said, “Your husband told me the good news.”
Now, Abby, I understand that this was good news but, in my opinion, this was my medical information and the next time I planned to see her was three days after the test. My husband thinks it is “no big deal” to tell people about what is happening to me medically. I disagree! I believe it is personal and nobody’s business.
I have told my husband, also requested him not to tell anyone about my medical stuff. I went so far as to go to two appointments without telling her. He was angry that I didn’t let him come along. I told him why he stayed behind, but he still didn’t understand, or perhaps, didn’t value my feelings. Am I being too sensitive or should he keep his mouth shut? – Violations in Arkansas
Dear Violation: Your oversharing husband should respect your feelings and keep his mouth shut. You should not have pleaded with her not to discuss your medical information with others. Would he be equally open to telling people about his prostate condition, his Viagra intake, his colonoscopy preparations? Maybe he’ll get the message if you start giving him a dose of his own medicine. it’s worth a try.
Dear Abby: I decided to get my daughter a birthday present that would help her relax. She is a nurse. Because she worked so hard during the pandemic, I thought a massage would be a good idea. I enlisted the help of her daughter and boyfriend to help pay for it. I work part time and can’t manage it without their help.
I chose her after reading reviews of the business online and put the money up front to get the certificate in time for her birthday. More than a month has passed, and I still haven’t received my share of the money from my granddaughter or her boyfriend. In fact, I am now being ghosted after requesting for what is due.
I’m not sure what to do. I’m considering leaving it so my daughter doesn’t know. But I am angry at being hurt like this. Both parties work. I do not understand what treatment I am getting. Please advice. – Frustrated in Illinois
Dear Frustrated: You may have to chalk this one up as a life lesson. You’ve learned that your granddaughter and her boyfriend (who I assume are self-supporting) cannot be trusted to honor their word. I don’t think you should talk to your daughter about this. The distress it could cause would be counterproductive to the intent of your gift.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. contact dear abby www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.