Dear Abby: I’m in a three-year relationship, but my significant other “Ron” is extremely cautious about emotional attachment. It took him two years to tell me he loved me or even express any kind of serious affection. Furthermore, he is consumed by his job and worries about how his co-workers view him. He seems to prioritize work relationships over ours.
Because I am depressed by the little affection he shows me, I begin an intimate relationship with a former co-worker, “Dan”. Dan expresses no reservation or restraint in his feelings for me. He makes me feel appreciated, beautiful and loved.
I have strong feelings for both of them and I realize that I have created a terrible situation. I don’t want to give up a stable, caring relationship that had developed over three years, and I’m afraid that ending the relationship with Dan in favor of another one will be something I’ll regret later. But I don’t want to break everything off with Dan. I appreciate any advice. — Two-timers on the East Coast
Dear ‘two-timer’: I’ll try. Because your relationship with Ron left you feeling so empty that you sought comfort in the arms of another man, ask yourself whether you really love Ron or are just challenging him to commit to you. . You’re not ready to give up on Dan because he gives you affection and validation, which are important in a long-term relationship.
Recognize that you’re cheating on both men, which isn’t fair to anyone – and don’t think that Ron won’t find out. If you want to spend your life with an emotionally unavailable workaholic, do the honorable thing and break up with Dan. If what you’re getting from Dan is more important to you, well, you know the drill.
Dear Abby: My oldest daughter just had her first child. She sent out the christening invitations a month in advance after clearing dates with the godparents, church, and venue.
My youngest adult daughter, who has two children and lives nearby, declined the invitation. (He is not a godparent.) His reason was that he and his family had tickets to a ballgame on the day of the christening. I suggested that only he attend and another relative go to the game in his place, but he was told that he must be at the game with his family. your thoughts? – Priorities in Florida
Dear Priorities: My first thought is that your little daughter puts her love for sports above her love for her sister. My second thought is that his priorities are out of whack. Could there be bad blood between them? Long after that ballgame is over and forgotten, his absence from that important family event will be remembered by the relatives he ignored.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. contact dear abby www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.