Dear Abby: I am friends with a woman who is wonderful and caring. She calls to ask how I’m doing, drops by for coffee to say hi, etc. He has a great heart and soul. Our boys are close in age. That’s the problem — I don’t like his kids.
Her children are difficult and they mistreat her. She knows that discipline is a problem, but she is at a loss. My kids don’t even like to play with them. Her children are careless and do not listen to authority. I want to continue our friendship, but I like her better without the kids. Should I speak up or fade away? – conditional friend
Dear Friend: Your friend’s children cannot be blamed for things they were never taught. Tell your friend that you’ll be setting some “house rules” when her kids come over to your house. If you do, you’ll be doing that whole family a favor. If her kids can’t comply, inform her that your kids no longer want to play with her and why.
They need that information before their children become social outcasts. If your friendship with him fizzles out, and I sincerely hope it doesn’t, then que sera, sera.
Dear AB: I have no family and few friends — none close. My live-in girlfriend of two years and I argue constantly. We don’t share a bedroom anymore, and I feel like roommates. I honestly feel that I am being used for money. Her 24-year-old son died of an overdose two months ago, so I can’t help but feel sorry for her. She’s not working, and I don’t know when she might be back.
I don’t have money to move. I wish I did. I’m sad, he’s sad and I feel stuck. I am 46 years old; She is 44 years old. I pay 50% of the rent and utilities, which is fine. But how do I ever get out? Moving is not cheap anymore.
I desperately hope that I am not stuck here forever. I’m afraid that if I move – even if I live in a tent for now – she’ll drop everything. She has two grown children, but the one who passed was the one she was closest to. I feel guilty for wanting and needing to leave. At the same time, I’m sad. He is in therapy and on medication. Please advice. without hope in north carolina
Dear Without Hope: Start saving whatever money you can and explore other accommodation options including renting a room. If you don’t take control of your life, then staying where you are in these circumstances will make you sick. Your ex-girlfriend is under the supervision of a doctor. You are not his lifeline. She will be saved.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. contact dear abby www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
