Dear Abby: I am an active widower with five grown children. Although three of them live in the same city and two in a nearby city, I haven’t heard or seen them as often as I’d like to over the years. I recently realized that I miss his company and wish he would call or see me more often.
I understand he has his own life, but I don’t think I’m asking too much. I want them to understand that a “pill” won’t cure me of loneliness, as they suggest when I tell them I’m slowing down. His answer is to ask me to see the doctor.
I can’t speak to meeting them and increasing communication because I grew up with the idea that you automatically respect your elders, and that parents shouldn’t ask their kids to meet them Or not calling to ask how they are doing. than every few months.
I thought perhaps reading this in your column might remind them not to wait till it is too late. Do you have any suggestions on how to encourage my kids to include me more in their lives? – alone in colorado
Dear Lonely: You don’t have a communication problem. Your “kids” got the message. Free yourself from the thought that your kids should call you out of obligation. If you want more contacts, pick up the phone and call them. Also, you should socialize with contemporaries. Your problem may be having too much time on your hands. If you’re able, fill some of that time by volunteering in your community. This is a great way to meet people who may be willing to include you in their activities.
Dear Abby: I have two younger sisters. The middle one is my best friend (next to my husband). Smallest nightmare. He is manipulative and evil, and nothing is good enough for him. She is a cancer survivor and is no longer able to live by herself.
My middle sister is bending over backwards to help her in significant ways (managing her insurance and finding a nursing home for her to live in), but neither of us will allow her to live with us. She is very destructive, controlling and toxic. Our sister has now decided that the nursing home isn’t good enough. She is talking about living in another state with one of her friends. The friend has tentatively agreed. My middle sister and I both believe that her friend has no idea what she’s giving herself up to, and that her life will be taken over by my youngest sister.
I believe the right thing for me to do would be to call a friend and warn her not to allow my youngest sister to stay with her, but this is a terrible thing to do to my youngest sister . What should I do? – Sister Drama in the West
Dear Sister Drama: What You Should Do Stay Out of It! Your sister has resumed control of her life. Praise! Whether he is successful or not, the result will be his responsibility. If her friend rolls out the welcome mat in the coming months, there will be a nursing facility option for your sister. period. ,
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. contact dear abby www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.